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Windmills Of My Mind

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I’m thirty eight years old. I’m an up-market estate agent, I’ve recently fallen in love for the first time, and I’m terrified by windmills.  I don’t think there’s much else I need to tell you about me.

I discovered my phobia when I was eight.  I had to walk past a windmill.  I began to sweat and shake.  I felt very hot and very cold at the same time.  I fainted.  I haven’t been back to North Norfolk since.

I have never before been able to admit my weakness to anyone, except to a psychiatrist, who said that the windmill was a phallic symbol, representing the strength and virilty that I wished to have.  I told him that I couldn’t see how the sails came into this interpretation.  ‘They are your dreams,’ he said.  ‘Their rotation in the wind represents the fragility of your emotional attachments. Your fear of windmills is your fear of the shortcomings of your own sexuality.’

‘Bollocks,’ I said.

‘Exactly,’ he replied.

I didn’t go back.

Of course my condition has made my life complicated.  When I go to view houses I have to take great detours.  I have tried to programme my SatNav to give me windmill-free routes, but my provider isn’t up to this.

Now suddenly things have become serious.  I have fallen madly in love.  My fiancee will tell you that my sexuality has no shortcomings.  

So what is the problem?  She is Dutch, and I have to meet her family next Thursday, that is the problem.    I asked her the other day, ‘Maertge,’ I said – it’s her name, so there’s no point in  calling her anything else.  ‘Maertge,’ I said, ‘Are there many windmills near your home?’  ‘Many,’ she said.  ‘Many windmills.  Very many windmills.’  She isn’t a great conversationalist, but, my God, she’s beautiful.

What am I going to do?  How can I pluck up the courage to visit her family?

I must conquer this fear, but I can’t until I understand the reason for it.  What reason could there be? 
Unless.....

Page 1

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Started by
David Nobbs
29/08/2007 12:40:00

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Summary of the story so far

Current page by
David Nobbs
29/08/2007 12:40:00

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